An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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