My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops