Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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