A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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AND

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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