What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops