What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

Hello

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

Blacks

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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