On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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