Hello penis

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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well use a tissue!

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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