Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

No antijoke here.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops