Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A chicken walks into a barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops