Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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