so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Corn Muffins

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops