What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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