What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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