What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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penis. nuff said.

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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He--Hey guys

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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