A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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