I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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