Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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