Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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What did the boy's mother say to her daughter when she walked in on her father having sex with her grandmother? The grandfather said "how are you"? He wasn't a part of that fiasco. However I'm sure that whoever saw what was confused and looking for answers.

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Donald Trump

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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What did the boy say when he could'nt find his dog? I wonder where Spot went.

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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