How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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penisvaginaorgasm

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Canadians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops