Why are they the "living" daylights?

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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