Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops