Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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