Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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A black man walks out of a police station

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops