What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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rocky is here again.......................

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops