Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

Hello

Blacks

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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