the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops