He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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AND

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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Sex education in Texas,

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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lol

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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