- Anti Joke

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

25

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

Take part of what?

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops