A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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