Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops