Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops