how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Men's rights

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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