whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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