The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops