A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

You sick fiend

When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

whats 1 + 1? 2

What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

So a baby seal walks into a club...

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...