What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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