What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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