What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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