Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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dallen loves penis

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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