Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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A guy at a baseball game....

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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