Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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