Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

What's white and horny? A unicorn

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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