What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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