Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Frontbut-

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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