Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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