What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Nothing. He made it home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops