Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Sarah Palin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops