When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops