What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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time to spruce up!

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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