Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Indians

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops