(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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