What time is it? 2:47 PM.

When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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