What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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. . I am a whale

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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Hello

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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