- Anti Joke

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

men's rights activists

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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