Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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