Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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Peas

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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why dont they make black forks

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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