Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969 i like potatos 696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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