There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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