Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +13

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +13

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops