Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops