If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

thumb_up thumb_down

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

thumb_up thumb_down

A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops