Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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