a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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Manchester City

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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